Hanging heavy on my heart

Recently Hannah and I made our first visit to our internship at St. Jude’s Orphanage. Upon arrival we met Brother Elio, who is one of the directors for the home. After a short introduction of the home Brother Elio informed us of all the different sections of St. Jude’s, including the nursery school, primary school, and consolation side. After only a little explanation I became well aware of the functions of most of those areas, except for the, “consolation side.” I think my puzzled face gave away that I wasn’t certain of what he was referencing. He then explained that the consolation side consists of buildings that house the children with disabilities. Almost on cue, a small girl, maybe six or seven, wearing a stained t-shirt and too large of pants, walked directly into Brother Elio’s office and climbed onto my lap. I try to avoid clichés, but I think my heart may have melted. At that moment I felt at home. I use this strong description because of my history with children and adults with disabilities. I’ve spent most of my life working with and mentoring people with disabilities.It’s a familiar and comforting feeling when I feel a tug on my hand only to look down and see a playful yet sneaky smile. Again, I immediately felt like I was where I was supposed to be.

            Once our little visitor, Eman, calmed her giggles, Dr. Rox encouraged me to share with Brother Elio my previous history with children with disabilities. He seemed to be excited to have someone with experience and knowledge on these circumstances. His face then changed from being welcoming and cheerful to more serious and concerned. He went on to tell us that although orphanages are not hard to come by in Gulu, St Jude’s is one of the few to accept children with disabilities. His next sentence was one that I quite literally will never forget. With a prolonged pause he said, “These children have the right to be born but not the right to live.” I must have heard him wrong, I thought. Children not having the right to live? I could feel my stomach begin to turn.

            Brother Elio then changed the subject, elaborating on the different duties Hannah and I would hold while we were interning, but my mind hung onto his last sentence. From my experience I am aware that children with disabilities are often mistreated or given up to group homes. I understand there are certain situations that cause the parents to feel that the children would be better off somewhere else; however, never have I heard that someone feels that these children or people do not have the right to have life.

            So far, this conversation at St. Jude’s has been my most emotional draining and difficult experience. I remember at one of the prior to departure meetings at Dr. Rox’s home we were told by a former GSSAPer that we may see or hear some things that will shock us.

            In conclusion, Gulu, Uganda has proven to be a much more modernized city than I could have imagined. There are so many factors of the city and culture that make it much more similar to America than I knew before; however, this conflicting belief has reminded me that there are still differences that we will not always agree on.